motherfuckingdragonsyo:

I made an old lady blush today at work because she ordered two senior coffees and I said “SENIOR ? I’m sorry miss, i’m going to have to ask to see some ID.” and she covered her mouth and went “Oh dear me” and couldn’t stop smiling

140,540 notes

reblog with 43901 notes
September 16 at 10:33 AM
reblog with 332945 notes
September 16 at 10:32 AM
keepmywhiskeyneat:

TRUE STORY
One morning, I was awakened by a knock at the door. I rolled out of bed, threw a blanket over my shoulder because it was cold, and made my way to the front of the house. I opened the door and a very nice lady of some sort of christian denomination handed me a pamphlet and launched in to a well-rehearsed spiel about accepting jesus in to my life when she stopped mid sentence and gave me a peculiar look. I used this pause in her speech to politely decline her offer and wish her a pleasant morning. It wasn’t until I looked at what she handed me that I understood why I stopped her in her tracks and then proceeded to laugh for the next half hour by myself.
reblog with 123449 notes
September 16 at 10:32 AM
nosdrinker:

human:

reblog if you never actually bought these you just found and kept them

I had so many of these stolen everyone who reblogged this is getting blocked

who-ya-callin-pinhead:

so did u like my post because it was funny or do u wanna date me i need answers

87,491 notes

dumbkili:

megamaximumpower:

dumbkili:

"you need to make this appointment yourself"

image

I have no words.

really cuz it seems to me like u have at least 4

165,902 notes

unclefather:

jesuschristvevo:

would you like some cream cheese on your beagle

keep your cream cheese away from my dog

403,551 notes

bellaisbadatmath:

fleurlungs:

“Life’s too short to drink crappy coffee and cry over boys who don’t care.”

— Matty Healy (The 1975)

image

659,254 notes

breadmaakesyoufat:

fabled-foreigntongues:

breadmaakesyoufat:

my mother just threw a wagon wheel at me

How the fuck did she get the wheel off a wagon? Do people still have wagons? Why are they destroying them to throw?? Australia’s weird

image

51,608 notes

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